I Can't Steal You
by bluejayzombie
Summary: Casey returns with hope of being in a relationship with Jane, but her intention to wait for him crumbled into nothing. / JM. Mentions JC. Oneshot.


**Pairing:** Jane/Maura  
**Rating:** T

**Note:** I had posted a story extremely similar to this, but I revised it enough that it needs to be posted again because it's practically a completely different story. Contains slight spoilers for **season three finale**.

**Disclaimer:** Rizzoli & Isles belongs to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, and TNT.

* * *

**I Can't Steal You**

a Rizzoli & Isles fan fiction

_Caught of flesh  
of absolute perfection  
shattered light fell dark  
in all directions  
I can't steal you_

—Matthew Ryan

* * *

Detective Jane Rizzoli has been in the house for nearly an hour, legs outstretched on the couch cushions in front of her with an empty beer bottle hanging loosely from her fingers, when she hears the muffled _click-clack_ of heels that she knows to be worth an obscene amount of money. The brisk gait signals the arrival of the woman she has been waiting for and as Maura Isles enters her home and secures the door behind her, Jane places her bottle on the coffee table and pulls her legs toward her chest. Winds her arms around her legs and rests her chin on her knees as she hears the lock sliding into place.

"I wasn't expecting to see you tonight, Jane. Weren't you supposed to be helping Frankie move?"

"I fed Bass," Jane says in lieu of an answer. As she watches Maura confirm that Bass was fed, she adds, "I also helped myself to a beer, but I stopped at one."

"I don't care how many beers you had," Maura tells her as she sits down, body angled toward Jane. After a few moments of silence, she adds with a small smile, "You didn't answer my question… Jane, are you alright?"

"No. I'm not, actually."

"Talk to me, Jane," Maura murmurs and reaches out, runs a hand over a warm cheek. "You can tell me anything."

Given permission to speak freely, Jane tries to speak but the words refuse to be spoken. They are lodged in her throat and she can feel them clawing their way up and out of her throat, and she clears her throat in an attempt to clear the blockage.

"I bailed on Frankie and came here. Casey came to see me this afternoon…" she begins to explain, the words hurting her to where she isn't sure she can continue. Those that follow are no better: "The surgery was successful and he has regained full mobility. He showed up at my door and told me that he is ready to be in a relationship with me. God, he wants to _marry_ me…"

Maura does not utter a single word in response for several minutes because, honestly—what could she possibly say?

"You knew that Casey would return for you, Jane," she says around the lump in her throat. The feeling that she is choking is present, though she forces her tone to remain neutral when she speaks. "There was always a great possibility that he would come for you when he made a full recovery."

The first thing Jane notices is the lack of anger. There is only resignation followed by a drawn out sigh that shows Jane, only for a brief moment, a face worn by overwhelming sadness. Maura is caught off guard by her statement but she is not bitter and when Jane meets the eyes that are already on her, normally so bright and expressive, she sees just how deep her misery runs. Jane had expected anger and frustration, wants to see them because she at least knows how to deal with them, but not this—she had never expected to see Maura Isles weighed down by defeat.

But as much as she wants to, Jane can't deny the truth in Maura's words. Casey Jones had told her many times that he wouldn't be in a relationship with her as long as he was an invalid, could not take care of himself or her the way he wanted to. So when he had followed her to the Storrow Center and did not withdraw his statements, she let him walk away without another word and intended to wait for him.

However, when Casey walked away from her all of her intentions crumbled into nothing. In his absence Jane had opened her eyes to what had been right in front of her for a very long time, and she had fallen for an amazing woman—she fell hard enough to give her heart and her body away without a second thought to anyone else in the world. Maura holds the most vulnerable part of Jane in her hands, cradles it and acts as a balm to soothe the ache that threatens to ruin Jane every moment she is not in Maura's presence. Not once had she felt so fulfilled, so cared for and loved when her heart was with Casey.

"There is no way I am going to say yes to Casey. I will never be happy with him, not after everything I've experienced with you—_because_ of you," Jane says firmly as she lowers her legs and shifts to pull Maura onto her lap. "I am fully aware that Casey wants me, but the only person I want is you. I will not marry him. How could I, after spending so many nights making love to you? God, that's all I want to do right now…"

Jane is blunt and she can see Maura flush with arousal. What she wants more than anything is to make love to her—to kiss her and be inside of her and surround her completely, to hold her not only for tonight but everyday for the rest of their lives. The chance to do that is getting slimmer with each moment Maura remains silent, the weight of Casey's proposal crushing them both.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Jane whispers. "Please, Maura."

"I'm not sure if I can be everything that you need," Maura confesses. "You're eventually going to want things that I won't be able to give you."

"What could I possibly want that you don't already give me, Maura?"

"A family," Maura responds. "The chance to raise a child that you and your husband create together. Casey _can_ give you that."

"I have everything that I want," Jane breathes out. "I have known Casey for a very long time, and at one time I thought he was the man I was supposed to spend my life with, but not once has he given me what you have—the feeling that I am loved unconditionally. I have Ma and Frankie and Tommy and TJ… and even Lydia. I have you, and for a long time _you_ have been my family. You are all I am ever going to need."

"Jane, I…"

"It doesn't matter." Jane reaches up and places her hand on Maura's cheek, runs her thumb across smooth skin. Smiles as she says, "Whatever horrible thoughts are running through your head right now, they don't matter. _Casey doesn't matter_."

"What if _I_ want a family?" Maura questions. "What if I want to have a child that knows exactly who its parents are?"

"You don't like sentences that start in _what if_," Jane says gently. When she moves to kiss the woman on her lap, Maura kisses her back and she gets lost in Maura like she does every time they touch.

"I'm sorry, Jane, but you need him. What we have… it's a great friendship with benefits. _Excellent_ benefits. At the end of the day, though, it's just not enough."

"For me or you?" Jane demands as Maura stands and takes several steps back. "You know just as well as I do that we have been more than just friends with benefits. It has _never_ been just sex for me. You are so smart, but you are acting like such a fool right now. I know that this is more for you, too. And don't bother denying it, I can already see the hives on your neck. The last thing I need is for you to pass out trying to lie to me about this."

"Jane, I don't—"

"I can see how much you love me, Maura. Your eyes have always given you away."

"Don't say anything else, Jane…" Maura murmurs, eyes watching the ground. "Let's just… put this behind us. Let's forget it ever happened."

"No, absolutely not. We can't just forget something that you wish never happened," Jane says sharply. "As much as I want to, I can't forget that Casey was hit by shrapnel and paralyzed and wasn't going to tell me. I can't forget that I became the worst version of myself when I pursued him, and he rejected me because his pride and the need to feel me when me make love are more important than simply having me by his side. And as much as I want to, I can't forget that I was content with waiting for him to come back to me."

"Stop it, Jane…"

"And there are some things that I won't forget… that I wouldn't even if I could. Do you want to know what those things are, Maura?" the words hang heavily in the air as Jane stands and slowly approaches Maura.

"Yes," is the only response Maura gives as she feels fingertips graze hers. Exquisite long fingers wrap around her hand and she is suddenly feeling the bare skin of Jane's chest beneath her palm.

"I will not forget that you held my gun in your hands for hours and promised to protect me. I will not forget that you tried so hard to save my brother's life, even when you weren't sure that you could. I won't forget that you willingly walked into a prison with me and gave me the strength to fight, because I was tired and I was ready to just lay down and take it.

"I won't forget how beautiful you were when you held TJ in your arms the night he was born, wearing such love on your face as you looked at him and spoke softly because listening to your voice was the only thing that could get him to fall asleep in your arms. And I will not forget that while Casey Jones walked away from me, you followed me into a building on the verge of collapsing and stayed by my side even when I told you to turn back."

Jane stops for a moment to look at the hand she is pressing to her chest, holding against her skin so tightly because she feels like she is drowning and Maura is the only thing keeping her head above water.

"I'm sorry, Jane. I can't do this anymore."

"I'm sorry too," Jane says quietly, eyes filling with tears that she refuses to shed in front of Maura. "I don't belong to him. You have my heart, Maura. I am so in love with you and I want to be with you. I want everything with you. I suppose it was stupid of me to never consider the possibility that you wouldn't want the same. Maybe you've wanted out for a long time, and I've foolishly been letting my emotions rule me."

By the time Maura can register her departure, Jane has slammed the door shut behind her. Maura can do nothing except stare at the door, cannot even breathe for nearly a minute before she is outside watching Jane sit in her car with her forehead against the steering wheel. Maura approaches the car and pulls the door open, stands back as Jane gets out and stares down at her with eyes that are dull from the hurt Maura had inflicted upon her.

Without a word, Maura presses her body into Jane and cradles her face with both hands as she kisses her. It is hard and desperate and Jane is helpless to resist, kisses back almost immediately. The need Maura feels to push Jane away when she is uncertain, the instinct to leave Jane before she can leave Maura falls away and god—_screw Casey_.

"I want you, Jane. I am so in love with you," Maura says firmly, lips brushing Jane's with every word. "The thing is… you have to be sure that this is what you want. That you want me and us forever, because if you say it is—I'm not going to let you go, ever. You are going to become my wife someday, I promise you that, but you have to be sure that you want me."

Jane smiles and presses light kisses to Maura's lips, to her cheek and her neck. "You put up a hell of a fight when you're wounded, Maura Isles," she murmurs, nuzzles the neck of the woman she loves. "So do I, and I was not prepared to let you go so easily. I was even planning to do extensive research on adoption and artificial insemination and present you with the options we have, even though you probably know all about them already. Because you're right, I am going to want your child. And when we're ready, it won't matter if the child is biologically ours. As long as you are with me, and we show him or her how much they are loved and how wonderful we think they are, nothing else will matter."

"I'm sorry," Maura says, reaches down for Jane's hand and presses it against her own chest. "I was scared, and I was wrong for trying to push you away before you could throw me away like so many others have before you. I should have known that you would choose to love me, because even before you laid your hands on me for the first time and I felt the love in every touch, you made my heart race in my chest. I felt you with _every_ beat of my heart. I feel you in a way that Casey couldn't."

Maura sighs when Jane kisses her thoroughly, pulling away long minutes later.

"I know you did, honey," Jane says softly. "I love you, Maura. I want you. Forever, if you'll have me."

"Forever isn't long enough," Maura says. Tucks her head beneath Jane's chin and quietly adds, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

"I've always wanted to visit Fenway…" admits Maura. The confession is not what Jane expects and she hums in response. "I've had this… fantasy for a while now of you and me standing over home plate, wearing matching Red Sox jerseys. Your family and my parents are there too. Barry and Frankie are having a hotdog eating contest and your mother is yelling at them both to slow down before they choke, and Vince is drinking an obscenely large cup of frozen lemonade."

"Oh yeah?" Jane questions. When Maura nods her confirmation, Jane presses a kiss to her hair before looking down at her. "I would love to make that trip to Fenway with you, whenever you're ready."

Maura smiles broadly at her before gripping the collar of her shirt, digging her fingers into the fabric as she pulls Jane to her. Jane closes her eyes as their lips touch yet again, this time slow and gentle. Notes the lack of desperation their previous kisses held. In its place is a promise, a commitment. As soon as they break apart, Maura tucks her head in the space beneath Jane's chin once more.

"Is right now too soon for our trip to Fenway?"

Jane hums in approval, conveying that no, right now is not too soon. That _right now_ is not soon enough. She remembers the night she shared her fantasy wedding with Maura, remembers wine and a mattress and the shine in the dark eyes that watched her for hours—an expression Jane later associated with arousal. They made love for the first time not long after that night, bodies coming together on that same mattress. It had been awkward as she explored a woman's body for the first time, and she didn't know if she would have a chance to commit every inch of Maura's body to her memory like she wanted to so badly, so she had memorized every move Maura made and every sound that fell from her lips.

Jane can still recall with startling clarity the smile Maura wore as they lay on her bed, those soft lips remaining upturned even after Jane worked up the nerve to kiss her for the first time. The way Maura's breath caught as Jane began to explore her for the first time and god, the bubbly laugh that Jane only hears when Maura is downright giddy—a sound Jane heard for the first time when she was finally inside of Maura.

When it was all over and the sun was just beginning to rise in the sky, Jane sat up and stretched and Maura was watching her. Soft laughter met her ears, and Jane didn't know then if it would last. Prayed to a god that she wasn't sure she believed in that it would, that Maura would always be hers. And here Jane is, content with holding Maura forever, and she can't think of a single person she would rather commit herself to. She knows that Maura is the only one she would ever stand with over home plate and Fenway and vow to love forever.

Jane does not spare another moment thinking about Casey. Maura is hers and she is Maura's, and she knows that Maura will not let her go or push her away ever again. Maura has her heart and she is not giving it back.

* * *

_finis_


End file.
